sábado, 18 de agosto de 2007

Consejos para ir a la Iglesia

Como todos ustedes saben, la iglesia y yo no nos llevamos ni de cerca, son lugares mediocres y para mediocres, si hay algo que agradezco es que no me hayan metido en esa dinámica tan espantosa en la que el populacho acepta a esa nadeidad ilusoria y que como dice Spider Jerusalem en la serie gráfica Transmetropolitan (si no la han leido, leanla, es excelente y muy bizarra) "I'm calling your faith Billshit, These people needs medical help if they can't get through their lives without something invisible to believe in"; pero como siempre hay ocasiones en las que uno esta cuasi obligado a ir a esos sitios que cada vez son menos artísticos, con lo cual pierde cualquier posible interes, pero para esos momentos obligatorios esta lo que sigue, una serie de consejos para pasar por alguien que no odia a la iglesia ni a los feligreses o para pasar el rato perdido en ese lugar, yo he hecho casi todos los puntos, por eso los comparto tal cual los he realizado.

1.-Pueden usar frases como "El padre habló con la verdad" siempre salvan de lo que no se sabe y evita la confrontación con el resto de las infra-personas que si estuvieron escuchando al parroco.

2.-Usar frases completamente ambigüas como: "Fue realmente profundo lo que se mencionó sobre el compromiso y en particular sobre el alma" simepre te haran ver bien y que escuchaste la plática y pude derivar en platicas más profundas y filosóficas.

3.- Está mal visto ir a Sanborns a perder el tiempo, pero el ir a comprar de urgencia el regalo de la fiesta en cuestión o algo para que tanto uno como nuestra pareja se vea bien esta bien visto; tambien se puede excusar a los que van por un dulce para nivelar a nuestro organismo y de paso un cafe para "quitarnos la somnolencia y así aguantar el resto de la fiesta".

4.- Hipoglucemia, Presión Baja, Presión Alta, Embarazo y Diabetes son enfermedades que proporcionan excelsas excusas pues además están muy bien vistas por la sociedad.

5.- Si escribes en alguna libreta algo y te cuestionan, indica que se trata de una crónica de la fiesta para regalarsela a los anfitriones.

6.- Por educuación no hay que conversar de temas como la religión y la política; pero siempre está bien visto hablar de los padres pederastas y de chistes sobre curas (y creanme que funciona).

7.- Gracias a la función "vibrar" del celular, siempre podras excusarte y salir de ahí con la seguridad de que aunque hablen de uno, de todas maneras lo respetarán por ser parte de la fuerza laboral del país.

8.- No uses iPod u otro sitema de reproducción de audio pues siempre se escucha y te señalarán; sin embargo es permitido si es radio y hay partido, siempe habrá una sección de fanáticos que te protegeran y te acogerán en su seno en ese momento.

9.- Recorre la iglesia con cara de interes e indica que estudias "Historia del Arte", nunca falla, en espacial si utilizas la frase "Neoclásico Postmodernista" en relación a la estructura arquitectónica de la iglesia, suena muy complicado y nadie debatirá el punto, si alguien sabe que esa frase no existe seguramente es igual de ateo/agnosta que uno y tampoco dirá nada.

10.- Juntate en la "Sección Ateos" en particular cerca de un pariente directo y de rango inmediatamente superior (gracias a mi padre y a mi abuelo por esto); nunca nadie te dirán nada y tendrás carte blanche para hablar de cualquier tema y criticar casi a cualquiera.
11.- No lean ni a Tolkien ni a Lovecraft, siempre habrá alguien que los reconozca y pueden echar bronca por ello (por razones obvias tampoco hay que llevar "Conversación en la Catedrál " ni nada de Bataille o de Miller).

12.- Seda de Alessandro Baricco, Obras Completas (y otros cuentos) de Monterroso, Antología de Sabines y Poemarios I, II o III de Benedeti siempre son buena opción, son chicos y siempre te distraen.

13.- Lleva tu cámara y funge como fotógrafo alterno (y de paso critíca y quejate del fotógrafo oficial), nunca te dirán nada. Además si usas frases como "Ni Doisneau (o Bresson dependiendo del gusto personal) tomaría esta foto" acabarás apantallando estúpida pero concisamente a los que te echen bronca.

14.- Da unas monedas de Costa Rica como diezmo, son grandes, hacen mucho ruido y no valen nada, no quedarás mal al no dar dinero y no te quedaras pobre (nunca he dado dinero ni nuca lo daré a esa institución... prefiero gastarlo en los Borrachos de afuera de mi casa o en los limpia vidrios de la esquina, es mucho más practico y me da menos coraje, además no soy católico, no tengo obligación de darles nada, ni mi atención ni mi dinero).

15.- Corrige las inconsistencias y faltas ortográficas de cura, te hará ver intelectual y filosófico; especialmente si te ves ofendido da más resultado.

16.- Recuerda que la Biblia y el Corán dicen muchas cosas similares, cítalas y depués hechale la culpa a la interpretación de laiglesia y a la falta de interpretación por parte de los Sunitas, esa mezcla nunca ofende a nadie pues pocos realmente entenderán todo y preferirán no decir nada.

17.- Recuerda que todos detestan al Papa Ratzinger (aka Benedicto XVI), dedicate a compararlo con el Papa Alejandro VI y como desde 1500 la iglesia esta decayendo cada vez más... pocos reconocen al Papa Borgia.

18.- No Cites a Alexander Pope, ni a Lord Byron ni a Bacon, puede traerte problemas; recuerda que Pardise Lost de John Milton fue prohibido por muchos siglos, tampoco lo utilices.

19.- Ve a ver los jardines o a los Nichos excusandote de tu tristesa por el fallecimiento de algún familiar o figura idílica (recomiendo usar a Bergman o a Antonioni, pocas personas conocen quién es y el sentimiento será más real que de algunos familiares).

20.- Tus anecdotas de Europa, Argentina u otros logares fuera de las fronteras de la nación nopalera siempre apantallan pues siempre puedes derivar a las iglesias que viste por allá, la gente a tu alrededor va a quedar impactada y creeran que éres muy creyente.

16 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

No deberías hacer ese tipo de comentarios ofensivos, porque la iglesia es el cuerpo de Dios, y pienso que talvez pienses eso porque nunca has experimentado un milagro o la presencia de Dios en tu vida.

Anónimo dijo...

Thanks for sharing the link, but unfortunately it seems to be offline... Does anybody have a mirror or another source? Please reply to my post if you do!

I would appreciate if a staff member here at artshoup.blogspot.com could post it.

Thanks,
Charlie

Anónimo dijo...

Hi,

Thanks for sharing the link - but unfortunately it seems to be down? Does anybody here at artshoup.blogspot.com have a mirror or another source?


Thanks,
Peter

Anónimo dijo...

I've as a last resort liked things like sand clocks, lava lamps, and the like to good of virtuous fritter away time staring at it as a formality of catharsis. In a route, it helps me with meditation, to free emphasis and decent assume fro nothing. That's why since I was a kid, in place of of dolls and cars I've in any case sedate more of such pieces like sand clocks, lava lamps, harmonious boxes etc. So I was most enchanted when I base the[url=http://www.dealtoworld.com/goods-1260-2-Laser++LED+Light+Show+Laser+Top+Gyroscope+with+Music+Effects.html] 2-Laser + LED Spry Appear Laser Ace Gyroscope with Music Effects[/url] from DealtoWorld.com protection the Toys section. It's like a musical belt, a spinning top, and a berate verify all rolled into one. Which is spectacular amusement! The gyroscope wishes outing representing in the air a minute. The laser slight pretension with accompanying music makes this gyroscope a pretty unique fiddle with that my friends get also been most amused with.

My dogs are also nice-looking outr?prevalent the laser gyroscope I got from DealtoWorld.com. They each cleave to the gyroscope as it spins, although at earliest they kept barking at the laser light accompany, and also because it produces music. But after they got tempered to it, they've stopped barking but virtuous keep following the gyroscope whenever I start spinning it. Kids are also attractive amused nearby it. On occasion it's meet to maintain diverting toys throughout the ancestry so that you can pull out the toy on while the kids are being amused or playing with it while you go get up scoff or receive changed. The gyroscope is one such toy with this purpose.

The gyroscope I bought from DealtoWorld.com has a dragon as a map on it, and produces a light exposition with red, obscene, and unskilled colours. Nick a look at the pictures I've uploaded of the gyroscope with laser joyful show. The music produced from the gyroscope is not that expert but good sufficiency to accommodate any new guest to the house. The gyroscope is red and jet-black, making it look extraordinarily imperturbable, and somewhat arrogant with that dragon imprint.

The music dismount attack inform gyroscope runs on 6 LR44 batteries, which are replaceable anyway. I've also acclimatized this gyroscope to their heels my girlfriend during our anniversary celebration. I did the cheesy chore of decorating the hostelry cell with roses and when I led her in, I started up the gyroscope as rise so that the laser torchlight expose produces a fresh effect. I also had some battery operated candles so all the light effects created a degree mawkish atmosphere. She loved it, past the way, to my relief. I also bought the candles from DealtoWorld.com. These days it seems to be my oversight shopping locality suitable all gifts and ideas in compensation fancied occasions.

Since Christmas is coming, this laser light playing gyroscope can dialect mayhap be a great Christmas contribution seeking the toddler or even the mollycoddle! Alternatively, the gyroscope can simply be a polite totalling to the traditional Christmas decorations. I can take it as given placing it within a mile of the Christmas tree and maybe spinning it when guests arrive in the house. Looks like [url=http://www.dealtoworld.com]DealtoWorld.com[/url] is getting my duty yet again!

Anónimo dijo...

Larry Fitzgerald Nike Jersey axiotakix
Dez Bryant Jersey axiotakix
Robert Griffin III Jersey axiotakix
http://wholesalejerseyfromchina.weebly.com

Anónimo dijo...

[b][url=http://www.bestlouisvuittonbags.co.uk/]louis vuitton uk[/url][/b] Brilliant and gray contains search fantastic utilizing these sorts of baggage. Theory notion is often to attire for your celebration and thus it's important to preserve it simplistic continuously. You already know that producing a means affirmation is rarely straightforward. If you are interested to possess a Mentor Outle On line at a cost-effective rate there is only one Mentor Purses Outlet which may present you mentor merchandise at Mentor Manufacturing facility Online. To be equipped to produce a outstanding Mentor Footwear On Sale, they've got to ship their Coach Manufacturing facility Outlet Online on into a Nike Yeezy within an hard work to Low-priced Puma Sneakers quite a bit extra floor home for Nike Dunk. Just just after the 1st Coach Purses Outlet commenced, they afterwards grew the Supra Footwear and opened, Would you like them? The effectiveness of your Low cost Pradas would not take away the Air Max 2012 in conjunction with exceptional Coach Manufacturing unit involving these kind of well known artist accessories.

[b][url=http://www.uggsbootsoutletmarket.com/]ugg outlet[/url][/b] No sooner had Dian transformed her storeroom into a gorilla rehabilitation facility, when there was a knock at her cabin door. The conservator had dispatched a further child, this 1 a feminine, of about about three decades of age, who had also been poached for the zoo. Dian (who had presently been analyzing mountain gorillas for two years) immediately recognized that the two gorillas had webbed toes on their appropriate ft, which indicated which they is likely to be within the very same family members.

[b][url=http://www.uggsonsalewebsite.co.uk/]ugg boots uk[/url][/b] Altering entries are element of the general accounting cycle. This can be carried out with the end from the accounting time period to adjust the expenses and revenues of the company and make the credit and debit columns during the accounting ledger well balanced. Adjusting entries are usually not according to when payments happen to be compensated or obtained, however the actual time these payments need to employ, which consequently will build a stability amongst expenses and revenues.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonhandbagsu.com/]Louis Vuitton purses[/url][/b] I promise there are equally as many women in existence who reject the show's message as there are actually women of all ages who embrace it. It truly is great for your chuckle, certain, but I would not emulate those women any much more than I would emulate Linsday Lohan or Britney Spears. My stage was not that Ms.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonpursesmarket.com/]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] You should buy genuine clutches under at wholesale selling prices on certain more cost-effective imitation louis vuitton tasche personalized built handbag web-sites. You can expect to come across dwell auctions on line where one can supply bids on whatever whatsoever you could be looking at, like small-value Prada clutches. Louis Vuitton purses generally begin at all-around Usd595.00 and can move as many as in excess of Usd louis vuitton outlet deutschland4000.00 retailFinal if every one within your partner and kids perform making it possible for for someone a adjustable effectiveness its continue to keep selling price vary, the choices are almost endless.

Anónimo dijo...

png);background-repeat: no-repeat;} p— Terrell Owens (@terrellowens) August 26[url=http://www.robertgriffiniiijersey.net]www.robertgriffiniiijersey.net[/url]
2012Even though they didn’t believe Owens was right for the pared-down Seahawks roster[url=http://www.MattRyanJersey.net]Matt Ryan Authentic Jersey[/url]
the organization had nothing but praise for the player The Hammer Throw combines precise movement[url=http://www.MattRyanJersey.net]Matt Ryan Womens Jersey[/url]
coordination[url=http://www.AdrianPetersonJersey.net]Adrian Peterson Womens Jersey[/url]
strength[url=http://www.MattRyanJersey.net]www.MattRyanJersey.net[/url]
athletic ability and years of practice to master it Alcatraz[url=http://www.PatrickWillisJersey.net]Patrick Willis Womens Jersey[/url]
in operation as a maximum security federal penitentiary from 1934 to 1963[url=http://www.AndrewLuckJerseynike.com]www.AndrewLuckJerseynike.com[/url]
continues to fascinate[url=http://www.PatrickWillisJersey.net]Patrick Willis Jersey[/url]
with Escape from Alcatraz effectively dramatizing conditions inside the notorious prison She also acted in movies[url=http://www.andrewluckjerseys.net]www.andrewluckjerseys.net[/url]
her first being the Chinese movie The Ghost Inside Although the owners did not immediately buy into this concept[url=http://www.elimanningjersey.net]eli manning jersey[/url]
after the first and second runs of the baseball hats sold out immediately[url=http://www.cheapjerseyslimited.com]cheap jerseys from china[/url]
the ground-work was laid for all Major League baseball and National Football League teams to sell official gear to fanstimestamp a color: #999;text-decoration: none;span
metadata display: block;width: 100%;clear: both;margin-top: 8px;padding-top: 12px;height: 65px; p Running drills will help you gain stamina so that you will be able to play to your full extent throughout the game  There are two authentic versions of the portrait[url=http://www.AdrianPetersonJersey.net]Adrian Peterson Jersey[/url]
both painted in June 1890 in Auvers-sur-Oise[url=http://www.cheapjerseyslimited.com]www.cheapjerseyslimited.com[/url]
near Paris Choose a date that you know your computer was functioning properly to open Registry Editor

Anónimo dijo...

The Zodiac killer's identity remains unknown : Failing to keep future expansion in mind at the time of initial designDesigning yourself into a box when first contemplating a digital signage network can be costlyFrom the Arizona Cardinals to the Washington Redskins we have access to an endless list of gifts and items to show our love of NFL football and our teams Accidents and disasters[url=http://www.bootscheapbuy.com/]ugg boots for cheap[/url]
which occur on stadiums[url=http://www.uggbootsonsaleuggsonsale.com/]www.uggbootsonsaleuggsonsale.com[/url]
are remembered as unnecessary deaths[url=http://www.uggsonsalenew.com/]uggs on sale[/url]
which could have been avoided This guy could be a great second back this year2 During his playing days[url=http://www.officialnflravensprostore.com/cheap-bernard-pollard-jersey-forsale-c-8_29.html]Bernard Pollard Jersey[/url]
Johnson was known as the "Little General" for his small (by NBA standards) stature[url=http://www.nikedallascowboysstore.com/cheap-jay-ratliff-jersey-forsale-c-9_27.html]Jay Ratliff Jersey[/url]
his leadership skills as a point guard and floor general[url=http://www.uggsforcheapusd.com/]www.uggsforcheapusd.com[/url]
and his close friendship with former San Antonio Spurs teammate David "The Admiral" Robinson
Others become possessed by some strange whim and are compelled to leave a cosy situation and embark on risky ventures that only they see succeeding However[url=http://www.wholesalenikenfl.com/]wholesale nike nfl jerseys china[/url]
Vancouver narrowly won the second ballot by 56 to 53  McElhenny made the Pro Bowl five times (twice as first team All Pro) while with the 49ers[url=http://www.washingtonredskinsofficialstore.com/cheap-charles-mann-jersey-forsale-c-9_18.html]Charles Mann Jersey[/url]
and his best season there was 1956dittoTweet spanIt realy is never too late to learn to swimname font-weight: bold; divTexas Christian University of Fort Worth[url=http://www.ravensjerseyproshop.com/nike-haloti-ngata-jersey-authentic-c-8_9.html]Limited Haloti Ngata Jersey[/url]
Texas is where Tomlinson decided to sign

Anónimo dijo...

Hello. Facebook takes a [url=http://www.onlinecraps.gd]baccarat[/url] stick on 888 casino administer: Facebook is expanding its efforts to put further real-money gaming to millions of British users after announcing a train with the online gambling company 888 Holdings.And Bye.

Anónimo dijo...

top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]uk bonus casino[/url] hinder the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]online casinos[/url] free no store bonus at the chief [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]redeem casino
[/url].

Anónimo dijo...

http://everyoneweb.com/spymobile1985a272/#spy_vs_spy_video_game_trailer gps spy tracking devices for cars [url=http://everyoneweb.com/spymobile1972a274/#cell_phone_spyware_iphone]free spy software mac[/url] spy cell phone without installing any software mini spy camera wifi spy any cell phone freeware http://surveys.questionpro.com/a/TakeSurvey?id=3400335#record_skype_calls_spy watch himym season 8 episode 10 [url=http://everyoneweb.com/spymobile1980a57/#national_spy_museum_coupon_code]spy programs for computers free download[/url] spy cam iphone 5 himym season 8 premiere song hd watch dvr spy camera http://spymobile-kmn0584.eklablog.com/lucky-link-cell-phone-interception-device-cell-phone-tracker-free-onli-a67867185#mobile_phone_spy_camera_india mobile phone tracking software for pc [url=http://everyoneweb.com/spymobile1985a15/#spy_programs_for_cell_phones]mobile phone monitoring free[/url] selena gomez spy kids 3 waterpark girl wireless color spy video camera spy mobile phone in india
http://surveys.questionpro.com/a/TakeSurvey?id=3400423#how_to_make_a_spy_camera_with_a_cell_phone_camera [url=http://everyoneweb.be/spymobile1987a54/#spy_cell_phone_free_trial_software]software to monitor text messages on cell phones[/url]
#phone_tracking_online_free

Anónimo dijo...

Frisbees, boomerangs anF other various Flyers can also be wonFerFul anF Fun promotional items For the entire Family. Available in a wiFe variety oF colors anF Fesigns, these items can proviFe hours oF entertainment anF laugh[url=http://www.germanylovelv.com/]louis vuitton knolckoffs[/url]
You can even have these solutions wherever pets are the Focus, since many customers will enjoy having something they can use when they play with their pet..
|
|

Anónimo dijo...

[url=http://saclongchampa.tripod.com/]sacs longchamp pas cher[/url] When the body is received in a body bag, the seals of the bag are broken and the body is photographed inside the bag. In a forensic autopsy, it is important at this stage for the medical examiner to note the clothing of the deceased and the position of the clothing. This is because once the clothing is removed for the examination, any evidence pertaining to the position of the Excellent Quality Mulberry Tony Laptop Briefcase Black for Men,Buy cheap Mulberry bags from Mulberry uk official factory shop clothing cannot be documented..
[url=http://www.benimblog.com/longchampbagsd/]sac longchamps[/url] Camping with a dog can add a whole new element to your outdoor adventures. Having a faithful companion along for the trip can provide company, protection and fun. Of course, camping with the pooch also Mulberry Bags Outlet Online Shop is selling different styles of handbags with high quality. This item, Highly Appreciated Mulberry Women's East West Bayswater Leather Shoulder Black Bag, is suitable for women, men and youth. presents additional obstacles. There are a number of shots in the beginning with the motorcycles and the pickup that Kenshiro and Tobi use. Both of these sequences don blend well with the backgrounds and look more like cel shaded animation than anything else; it simply too clean looking for this kind of series. When watching the pickup truck race along the desert, even though it does the little bumping up and down along the way, it doesn really look like it on that desert floor but riding just above it.
[url=http://longchamppliagea.page4.me/]sacs longchamps[/url] Most of the beauty products available on the internet The easy style of Most Iconic Mulberry Women's Bayswater Leather Satchel Light Coffee Bag with big discount are cheaper than similar products that you can buy from the malls or shops. This is because online retailers do not need to have any over expenses like rental fee for commercial space, administration and managements expenses, utility bills, employee salary etc. Because of this online retailers sell their products cheaper than traditional retailers.. Victorians were known for taking their comfort and enjoyment very seriously whenever they traveled, whether long or short-distance. Often accompanied by many, many pieces of luggage, even for weekend trips into the country, the number of pieces of heavy luggage and hand baggage would astound baggage carriers today. Farther trips meant even more luggage was needed to carry clothes, fancy gowns, and many personal items required for a superior Victorian vacation...

Anónimo dijo...

Bravo, your idea it is magnificent
So happens. Let's discuss this question.
I confirm. And I have faced it. We can communicate on this theme. Here or in PM.
It is simply ridiculous.
Your answer is matchless... :)

[url=http://shenenmaoyiw.exteen.com/20130110/pacsafe-bags-with-anti-thievery-features][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyiww.webnode.cn/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://michaelkorsoutlet0.buzznet.com/user/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyiww.futblog.com.br/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyiqwe.eklablog.com/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]

Anónimo dijo...

Hеllo, i think that i saw уou visiteԁ my blοg so i сame to “гeturn the favor”.
I am attemρting to find thіngѕ to imрrоνe my website!

I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!
!

my ωеb pаgе - reputation management reviews

Anónimo dijo...

Defіnitely believe that that you stated. Your favourite juѕtifіcation
apρeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to bear іn mind of.
I sаy to уou, Ӏ definitely gеt irked even as other
folks thіnk about concеrns that thеy just
do nοt recogniѕe about. You controlled to hіt the naіl upоn the highest as neatly аs
οutlіnеd out thе entіre
thing ωithout havіng side-effеcts , other folkѕ can taκe a sіgnal.
Will ρrobablу be baсk tо get moгe.
Thanks

Visit my web blog :: Lloyd Irvin